“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Almost every conversation with leaders lately has had a backdrop of words like uncertainty, anxiety, and burnout. So many of us are feeling the intensity of these times. There’s a LOT we cannot control right now, but the one thing we can control is how we show up and the words we use.
And here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter what you call it in your organization; at the end of the day, being kind, inclusive, and respectful is the right thing to do.
Words shape culture.
Words can either foster belonging—or exclusion.
Words can be a tool for connection—or a wedge that divides.
So it’s my belief that–now more than ever–we need to be intentional with the words we use.
And it’s not easy to take that extra moment to think and be deliberate when we’re feeling exhausted, stressed, or overwhelmed. So I wanted to share our framework that we’ve been told helps make the process more manageable.
Let’s start with awareness…
The words we use set the tone for the culture of an organization.
Whether you’re in a classroom, a business, a nonprofit, or a family, the question isn’t about what acronym you use—it’s about how you want people to feel when they’re in your presence. And the language we use directly impacts how people feel.
We can’t always change national rhetoric, but we can choose to be thoughtful about our sphere of influence–and our impact in our workplaces, schools, teams, and homes.
So, what does that look like in practice?
It looks like intentional action.
Here are some starter steps for thinking about sparking change with your language…
The words we use can either foster belonging—or exclusion.
🔹 Instead of “That’s just how things are,” try “How could we make this better for everyone?”
🔹 Instead of “Some people just don’t__,” try “What systemic barriers might be affecting this?”
🔹 Instead of “They’ll never change,” try “What is within our sphere of influence?”
Small language shifts create a ripple effect in culture. We also have a one-pager with sentence stems and more questions for certain circumstances here.
Exclusive language spreads when it goes unchallenged.
That doesn’t mean every moment requires a public confrontation—but it does mean we can take intentional steps to model inclusion.
When you hear an exclusionary comment, consider responding in a way that invites reflection instead of defensiveness:
🔹 “I’ve had a different experience—are you open to hearing what I’ve learned?”
🔹 “I hear what you’re saying, and I see it differently. Here’s my perspective…”
🔹 “I have another way of looking at that–are you willing to hear it?”
Calling someone out with anger or frustration usually shuts down the conversation. Calling someone in with curiosity creates an opportunity for learning and growth.
Whether we know it or not, how we show up impacts others. Even in the smallest ways, when we are intentional it has a ripple effect. We can always:
🔹 Create spaces where all voices are valued.
🔹 Use inclusive language, regardless of company policies.
🔹 Demonstrate that respect, fairness, and belonging are good for both business and humanity.
Speaking up for inclusion is always in service of building a world where people feel safe, valued, and included.
That’s why we use the S.P.A.R.K. framework to stay grounded:
🔥 S – Show up authentically.
Am I speaking from a place of integrity with the language I’m using?
🔥 P – Pause before reacting.
Am I responding in a way that invites reflection rather than defensiveness?
🔥 A – Ask thoughtful questions.
How can I ask clarifying questions and raise awareness of potential biases?
🔥 R – Respect diverse viewpoints.
Am I centering and uplifting the voices of those most impacted?
🔥 K – Kindly expect discomfort.
Am I willing to sit in tension for the sake of truth and justice?
Every time we choose courage over comfort, we create the world we want to live in.
Two things are true right now. Company mandates and political agendas are creating noise, so we must remember and always come back to:
✅ Recognizing our sphere of influence and actively contributing in our circles (awareness)
✅ Using language that treats people with dignity and respect (action)
✅ Soliciting feedback and asking for input to ensure our intent matches our impact (accountability)
Regardless of all the noise in the background, respect is a universal language.
Change doesn’t happen in grand gestures alone—it happens in small, consistent acts of leadership.
Let’s refocus on what matters: treating people with kindness, empathy, and fairness.
🔹 What’s one small shift you can make in your daily conversations to be an advocate for inclusion and interrupt potential sources of bias?
🔹 How can you use your platform—big or small—to speak up for respect and inclusion?
🔹 What’s one way you can model kindness and fairness with the language you use?
Drop your thoughts below—I’d love to hear how you’re engaging with this work. And if you’re ready to deepen your leadership with practical tools and strategies, if you’d like to get on the waitlist for our online learning platform click here. It’s launching next month and is packed with resources on inclusive leadership tools, inclusive communication strategies, and more!